WINDFALL
by
Lisa Striegler

windfall
doesn't make up for broken parents
dying under the ice
not having the power to keep me home
to spend winters on the trap line
hearing wolves' haunting melody

windfall
doesn't make up for when he smashed
my bum with his penis
then cried afterwards
told me he was sorry
held me close
then told me to confess my sin to God

windfall
doesn't make up for the foster homes
sick hangover breath and blackouts
wretched men doing evil magic
tortured cats and puppies on fire
friends shot by the police

windfall
doesn't make up for when I
raped a woman
battered and kicked a
man because he was white
held a death barrel against my chin

windfall
doesn't make up for when I struggled
to understand my reason
for being
of this land
from time immemorial

windfall
windfall; wind fall over me
carry away my sin
the sin of my Fathers
so they can whisper to me
mournfully, the wolves' howling
sorry