SPIN DOCTORED
by
Hilda Earl

At last, I can tell you the real story. I’m the wolf. You have heard a lotta misinformation spread about by the three little pigs and it’s time ta set the record straight.

It all began when I took a stroll through the woods and came across the three little pigs in the house they built outta straw. Come now, you can’t tell me you wouldn’ta been tempted by a target as easy as that. So there I was, see, just me, and three little pigs in a house of straw. I hadda blow it down. I hadda. You wouldda done the same.

Now I know the version of the incident you have been told says that I huffed and puffed, but I really didn’t have to – it just blew over almost by itself. Honest. But I digress.

Anyway, no sooner does their house fall down around their ears, when the three a’ them flee through the woods. I figured that was that, and continued on my way. Now what harm did I do, really? Just blew over a pile of straw that wantedta fall down anyway. No big deal.

For a few days, I went about my business and forgot all about the three little pigs. Then, one day I came across them again, in the house they built outta sticks. It was like they were taunting and daring me to blow it down. I hadda try; you must be able to see that? I hadda.

All of a sudden, the woods came alive with sirens and cops everywhere. It was like the whole detachment landed on me. They arrested me for conspiring to blow a house down. How do ya like that? What’s a wolf ta do?

It seems the three little pigs had had spyware installed in their house of sticks. Is that fair? They actually had a surveillance camera pointed at their front gate, and it automatically sent an alarm to the RCMP detachment on the edge of the woods as soon as I walked past. I didn’t stand a chance. It was discrimination, plain and simple. A wolf has a job ta do. Don’t they know that?

Now, I hear the three little pigs have built another house outta bricks. Well, now, I don’t know. It seems ta me this scheme is rigged. I’m figurin’ I’ll just slip out ta Overwaitea and forget about those three little pigs.

Just a word to the wise before I go. Beware a the spin doctors. Ya seen how fast they put me out to grass, when all I ever did was try ta make a living.